Don't forget to smile=)

2011-12-03T10:50:00.001+08:00

世上最难忍受的三种人：白目的人；厚脸皮的人；白目+厚脸皮的人。

2011-12-02T10:10:00.003+08:00

很抱歉，如果我的防卫心太强了。很多时候，我真的不知道有谁可以相信。我不能忍受，不喜欢被人议论。不喜欢有事情可以让人议论。我深深地了解这个世界是怎么转的。秘密，只要一说出口，就不能再被标上“秘密”了。“我告诉你，你别告诉其他人。”的这种游戏规则我太了解了。

2011-11-10T23:48:00.000+08:00

overwhelming overWHELMING OVERWHEMLING!

2011-11-08T00:22:00.000+08:00

BABI GEMUK PALING BEST LA!=D

2011-09-12T17:53:00.001+08:00

Less than 2 weeks to go.
I thought I've got more time.

2011-08-01T04:38:00.000+08:00

你应该很了解我的脾气。

2011-05-28T22:28:00.005+08:00

听到电话那头传来的声音时，眼泪很不争气地流了下来。越是想要制止，越是控制不了。从何时开始，变得这么脆弱呢？那个向来坚强和不轻易掉下眼泪的自己到底去哪了？
不喜欢，不习惯这样感伤的自己。

珍重！

We were once strangers

2011-05-06T18:15:00.003+08:00

"Your beloved and your friends were once strangers. Somehow at a particular time, they came from the distance toward your life. Their arrival seemed so accidental and contingent. Now your life is unimaginable without them. Similarly, your identity and vision are composed of a certain constellation of ideas and feelings that surfaced from the depths of the distance within you. To lose these now would be to lose yourself."
———John O'Donohue

You realise time flies only when you turn around.
You can't turn back the time;
but memories will always remain in the heart.

I now only bidding goodbye to the classes.
Not the people.
=)

p/s: No worries=) Nothing big happened that led to the previous post. It's more of a note to self, to be more mindful in speeches & actions. It takes years to build a relationship, yet less than a minute to destroy it.

2011-05-05T23:32:00.002+08:00

I do wonder, what's the point of saying sorry when damage has been done;
What's done is done.
Why bother apologising when the wound & the scar you caused are still there?
Apologising is a selfish act, to make you yourselves feel better.
You sure "It's ok" is really OK?
Why can't you not make the mistakes in the first place?
Why can't you be more thoughtful?
Why can't you be more considerate?
Why can't you think before you talk?
Why can't you think before you do?
WHY CAN'T YOU THINK OF THE DAMAGES YOU ARE ACTUALLY CAUSING?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Why are we so blardy selfish?

心在说故事

2011-05-04T00:41:00.004+08:00

我深深地相信，
只要你在做某件事时，
赋予感情，
旁人是可以感觉得到的。
一首令你落泪的歌，
一首触动人心的曲；
带来感动的并不是来自于歌手的口，
不是钢琴家的双手；
而是源自于他们的心，
他们满满是感情的心；
将那份简单的感动悄悄地传到你的心，
拨着心中的每一根铉，
牵动着微妙地感觉。

我不是一个有很多故事的人，但我是个爱听故事的人。
我相信每首歌背后都有它的故事，只要用心听你真的听得到。

tuning into : Yiruma-moonlight + rainy mood

Today I don't feel like doing anything

2011-05-02T14:39:00.001+08:00

Bruno Mars you sucks!
Your lazy song makes me feel soooo lazy!

Simple & sweet=D

2011-04-27T23:01:00.006+08:00

~It's always the simplest things that would give you the greatest happiness.~

A friend posted that, very true indeed.

Simplicity.
I like simple love story.
Love grows with the passing of time between a boy & a girl who truly understand each other.
And they live happily ever after.
Pure and simple, nothing too dramatic.=)
Ta-daah!

p/s: Should not be judgemental, the 'playboy' that you always gossip about, could be the sweetest boyfriend on Earth. haha

p/s/s: I don't believe in love at first sight, that only happens in fairytale.

2011-04-13T13:19:00.002+08:00

~Sometimes you just tend to open up more to ppl you are not that close with.
And share things that you have been avoiding to recall.~

2011-04-08T23:52:00.002+08:00

I think it's proven that I'm a magnet for ridiculous & random incidents.
Sometimes I just have to salute myself for being so freaking daring..
LOL.
*wondering what happened? Keep wondering=p

Tell me where's that happy-go-lucky girl.

2011-03-27T03:26:00.005+08:00

I have a recent-found-bad-habit.
I like to hide in my cave when I'm not feeling well.
Not replying sms or whatsoever.
Isolate from the world.
The closer we are the more I am avoiding.
I know I will breakdown in front of you easily.
I'm sorry.

Sorry for being such a disappointment.
I always start off things with " I want to.." instead of "I'm going to.."
There's always tomorrow for the things that I want to do.
There's always another better time for me to do it.
There's always a reason for why can't I do it now.
I'm a lousy friend.

2011-03-27T02:26:00.004+08:00

I BANYAK STRESS NOW!

" When you feel like giving up remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
But what if I couldn't remember any more.
I know miracles will not happen again.
Not this time.

2011-03-20T23:29:00.002+08:00

Promise to update more often every time I see how dead this thing is. But there's always a next day. No more promises as such any more.
I don't know how many people still tracking this dead blog here. Maybe NO one reads this any more, which is even better as I always dislike being Promises on keep this alive that I made were all for myself indeed.
I know if I don't write things down, I'm going to forget someday.
I know if I don't let things out, the ticking bomb might burst one day.

I wanna jot down what was behind the heeheehaahaa..

ignorance & insensitive hurt.

一位像家人的笨蛋。

2011-02-25T23:52:00.000+08:00

I wouldn't count how long since we know each other.

Our friendship isn't based on how long we met..
..but how much we understand & care for each other.

Lim Wei Jun, one of my close guy friend.

A friend who truly care for me.

A friend who pay 100+1% of attention to every words I say.
He understands me more than myself.
He pulls me back to reality when I'm wandering in fantasy land.

在这么多年下来，我发现昔日的友情已渐渐升华成亲情了。
你常常说跟我们出来好像在带女儿。
你容忍我们的任性；容忍我们的幼稚。
你，是少数能让我真正地放松的朋友，能让我有安全感的朋友。

I wanted to make this very long. Then, I realised mere words couldn't express how grateful I am to have you as a friend.

Thanks for being here. *HUG*=)

NAH..你最喜欢的低调。

2011-02-25T22:55:00.002+08:00

LIM WEI JUN!
yes you!

As I said, I now owe u a post.
It's already on the way.
But ur cute friend here is too exhausted today.
Ko-ed liao.
so sowee.
I'll gao dim-kan it by tomorrow kie.
=)

2011-02-20T21:38:00.004+08:00

孔明灯承载着满满的心愿，

徐徐地升向夜空。
愿望，
真的会实现吗？

Pinky promise=)

2011-02-17T00:40:00.005+08:00

OK lah. Sorry for ditching my baby bloggie for such a loooooong time again. I'm keeping it alive NOW!=)
*pinky promise*

And no. Not a fan of the name guessing game.
So, is Zip - Zi Peng?
(which is very unlikely)
The rest, kindly REVEAL yourselves when you see this.
=)

tuning into : 错的人

the return!

2011-01-17T18:28:00.005+08:00

I big sorry to myself & also those who care.=)
I know. I know.
I can now be crowded as the MIA queen.
There were times, I logged into blogger, & wanted to blog.
I have so so much to blog, so much to tell;
yet I don't know where to start.
=)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
But nvm, I'm back now!
=D

玻璃是裂了，
再补；
裂痕还在。

2010-12-08T00:37:00.001+08:00

So, she came home with tears rolling in the eyes.

2010-11-29T23:33:00.002+08:00

I'm dating Malakoff next month. 7km.
Half an hour on treadmill today.
Couldn't walk in a straight line right after.
Gonna keep up the training yo!

GO XF!=D

I'm doing this!

Like sister like brothersXD

2010-11-27T23:47:00.005+08:00

The very inconvenient thing about English is it's too general when comes to address a person.

My aunt, which can mean my mum's sister, my dad's sister, wife of my dad's brother, wife of my mum's brother.......etc..

So, I shall now phrase it this way, wife of my mum's younger brother(lol) & I find that, mum and her siblings are all similar in the sense that, they tend to over-react. Always.
Did I mention about my newborn baby cousin who shares that same birthday as me? She's 3-month-old now. SO ADORABLE! I can't wait for her to call me jie jie.=D

OK. So whenever we korkor/jiejie or anyone who they think is inexperience want to carry her.
The Foo siblings will scream at u as if u r going to kill her..wait!
CHOI!
" Eh EH, don't let him/her carry la!"
"He/she doesn't know how to carry!"
" Eh careful careful!"
"Eh don't cover the nose!"
"Eh support the neck!"
"The head! The head!"
went on.
& on.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
HAHAHAHA!
chill lah!
She's not that fragile.

That's only one of the many incidents. Mum tends to over-react even whenever she sees bruises or mosquito bites on my legs. (Now u know why I dislike telling her when I'm injured/sick.)
But that's just how she shows her unconditionally love for me.
I felt it.
And I love her.=)

We discovered this today. 100% caramel!=D Gonna buy this for movie next time instead.*slurps*

of narcissim & bubble dreams

2010-11-26T18:59:00.007+08:00

I'm going to share a picture with u ppl..
Run NOW if u think u couldn't take it..
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.
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.
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.
.
.
.
still here?
be ready for it then!=)
.
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.

.
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TAA--DAAA!!

OMG!
Nice? NICE? I don't accept bad comments. hahaha..
Took it during dance graduation night.
I'm not using it as my profile pic as I find it way too similar to the 1 ShingQueen used.
Ya know I'm a very original & copyrighted person!=D
I personally love it a lot. Doesn't it look like a scene from old movies?
So gonna share with all my loves here..
Heeeee=)

Know what you want, decide what you want, go for it as if you couldn't turn back anymore!
You design the journey you want.

p/s : I'm gonna set up my own fashion line & event company!!=)

"the world doesn't revolve ard u."
how I wish it does revolve ard me.

when i say run & problem-free

2010-11-23T22:29:00.006+08:00

Escape might be my middle name.
(procrastinating is the last name.)
When I'm not confident, when I'm not good at it.
I don't do.
Or to be specific I escape.
I don't try.
For topics that I'm not comfortable with.
I don't touch. I don't talk. I avoid.
How many chances have slipped through my fingers all these while?
How many times have I chickened out last minutely?
Due to the unwillingness in trying.
Because I care. What they think.
Because I kiasu.(still lose to our dearly neighbors lah.) The results.

Popo has been not so well for quite some time. Mum will try to visit her once she get back from work everyday. I know she must be really exhausted. I didn't visit popo much lately. Was having AS before this, so mum asked me to stay at home. I didn't say much, deep down inside, I don't want to capture the scenes of her suffering from treatments...getting weaker from day to day....My eyes couldn't leave the wounds she got from treatments, and I know, my heart couldn't bear with those. So, I escape again. Things are not easy for my mum. She's the closest 1 to her. I dare not to ask. But we all know, we gonna prepare for it.
I'm saying this calming. Guess, the ever-so-rational xf is still here.

Tuning into : Talking to the moon
专属天使
最熟悉的陌生人

2010-11-16T02:42:00.003+08:00

狠狠伤过，
是无法忘怀。
伤痕，
是无法磨灭。
结痂的伤口，
又不知何时再度撕裂。
心口上的疤，
看不见，
但不会不见。
痛。
在脑海里，
还是很深刻。

simplicity. truth. beauty

2010-11-15T11:15:00.007+08:00

At times, I miss having sooooo much dramas in my life. Okay, maybe not exactly on me. I would prefer them to be around me instead. Dramas do spice up ur life a lil.
Seafield. A place that is never lack of dramas & gossips. There's never a full stop, not even a comma to it. Sometimes, I wish to I have popcorn in my hand at all time. Popcorn is a must for movies.

As for college, there's not much dramas. Maybe there is, but I'm here hiding in my own cave.
Or, amount of dramas is inversely proportional to age? As maturity is directly proportional to age? CHEEEY..
So, to make up for my drama-less life. I watch gossip girl.

Wth. That shallow bitch show.
Yes. That bitch show.

(who knows there might be a super bitch soul lying in me.)

What keeps me watching, other than the dazzling designers clothes/bags/heels, that make every girl, even guys go gaga, are the friendships.

(you might think I'm nuts when you see the word "friendships")

The simple friendship that lies behind the never ending bitch fights/revenges, ever so complicating relationships & how-can-they-hooked-up-to-one-another-so-easily?!

Between Serena-Blair-Nate- Chuck.

Their relationships & love lives may be utterly messed-up, yet you couldn't ignore the existence of loyal friendships.
They might be scheming & trying to take down each other most of the time. But there's an unspeakable connection that holds them together. When one is in trouble. Whatever happened doesn't matter anymore. Working together towards a major take down. Supports, no matter what. And most importantly, never judge.

It's so hard to find a picture with the only 4 of them.

Simple. Friendship. That's it.
Sometimes, we really need to learn how to break things up into their simpler manners.
Things might no longer seem as complicated as they were.
Life is not so complicated after all.
You pick the perspective u want. Your choice.
I'm now learning to see things in simpler perspectives.
Live a simpler life. I say.

“Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.”

----Charles Dudley Warner

“Beauty of style and harmony and grace and good rhythm depend on simplicity.”

----Plato

“The simplest things are often the truest.”

---Richard Bach

“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.”

----Henry David Thoreau

“I really can't deny it,

I am who I am.

I'm pretty normal.

I'm not that smooth type of girl.

I run into things,

I trip, I spill food.

I say stupid things...

I really don't have it all together.”

----Katie Holmes

shoes obsessions

2010-11-10T15:42:00.007+08:00

I saw this pair of platform heels in Charles & Keith the other day .

I know what's in your mind right now.
"gosh.. she gonna starts with her shopping spree again."
Buuuut, this time is really different.
You every time also different laa.
I'm serious!

I wasn't very much in love with them when I first saw them.
Only around 70% of satisfactions.

Here, the magical part.
When I tried them on and looked into the mirror.
On that very 0.0000001 second.
My heart stopped beating.
I lost my breath.*gasp*
Everything around me seemed so blur.
All I can see, is that pair of heels.
(like that kinda of photoshop effect, where you macro focus on a certain object & blur-ified everything around it.)

I-W-A-N-T-T-H-A-T-P-A-I-R-O-F-H-E-E-L-S

They made my short & fat legs seemed ultra long & slim magically.
They are meant to be together. That platform heels & my legs. AHHHH!

I think I IMPRINTED on them. In case you don't read twilight.
Imprint means deadly in love at first sight.

Don't shake your head. NO! You don't understand.

It's like. It's like.

Kelly Yeo sees blue OPI nail polishes/ coach bag.
XiaShuen Duck sees shoes. colourful especially.
Yong Carmen sees cute Kim Hyun Joong posters.
Angeline Low sees floral tops/skirts.
Yongcheng Gan sees butterfly farm/aquarium.
Eugene Tan sees FOOD.
Shingqueen Chai sees SALES.
Eesuen Tan sees tomyam & chicken.

The price pulled me back a little. RM200++.
Guess I'm gonna take a donation box around college ady.
I'll love you 34517391803189381 times for getting me that.
*hint* *hint*

Day Ten

2010-11-10T03:03:00.003+08:00

Day Ten
One confession

This is how I always do things. 'a tiger's head and a snake's tail' (虎头蛇尾) (okay, I actually checked the online dictionary)

I always start out things well, then either KO halfway / give them weak endings. This is what I really hate about myself. This 10 days challenge thing is a very good example of me procrastinating , also doing things by halves. Why can't the OHMM stays a bit longer?! There's always lack of motivations, more distractions...blah blah blah...whenever close to the end. Willpower is not strong? Never deny.

This really make me sooooo much of a failure. a loser....sometimes....OK fine! ALL the time.

"I HAVE to change! I have to CHANGE!"

Few days or maybe weeks before, I kinda neglected my blog & facebook on purpose. why? Was having some effing bad days. They were the worst among the bad days. I wanted to cry, to let off everything. Let the tears bring all the emotions away. But the tears ain't coming out. I just DON'T know how to cry sometimes. So yea, I decided to hide in my own imaginary cave. Not replying anything on facebook. Not updating bloggie. Not signing in msn. etc etc. I feel pretty much like an anti-social kid now.

Maybe. Running away is what I can do best.
She knows it when I say "I really don't wanna do this"
She understands how much I thought before I say it.
She understands my concerns. my reluctance.

Day nine

2010-11-10T03:00:00.002+08:00

Day Nine
Two smileys that describe your life right now

1. =::::::( (this is suppose to be tears rolling down my cheeks)
this is for err.. few days ago...

2. @.@ (this is my panda eyes / confused face)

fear

2010-10-24T17:32:00.004+08:00

I feel darn discouraged right now.
wasn't in a mood to study,
so I went to read those samples of personal statements on Actuarial.

Guess what?

Those statements are actually few times better than I could write,
good language,
ambitious,
great aim,
working experiences in that field,
tops in their countries,
tops in what what what exams,
long lists of extra co-curriculum.......

YET, they only got conditional offers from few unis.
No LSE,
No Warwick,
No Imperial....

Don't get me wrong.
I'm not trying to say I must get into the TOPS,
or only the tops worth applying or what.

It's just,
I'm not any tops in any exams,
I don't have long list of co-curriculum.
Highschool-Scouts
College-nothing
.......blah blah blah.......

What if there's no uni would wanna accept me?
What if I got rejected from all?
=(
depressed.

Day Eight

2010-10-24T16:40:00.003+08:00

Day Eight
Three turn ons

1. Wide smile.

2. Nice voice.

3. Ability to read me. Telepathy that kinda thing.=)

what?what? shallow? sue me laa..=p

Day seven

2010-10-23T11:32:00.003+08:00

Day Seven
Four turn offs

1. Guys who hit girls. No excuses. SEI HOI LA!!

2. Smoking. I don't wanna kiss an ashtray.

3. Spitting everywhere, scratching ur butt in public.........all sorts of those very old cinapeks behaviors.

4. 2-faced. No need further elaboration.

Day Six

2010-10-23T00:48:00.004+08:00

Day Six
Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

5? LIMA? F-I-V-E? 五? Mane cukup.....There's WAY more than 5 ppl who mean a lot to me kay & I cherish every single 1. I know it & they know it. =)

Day five

2010-10-21T23:14:00.010+08:00

Day Five
Six things I wish I’d never done

1. Embarrassed myself in the face of 600+ people in my OC's speech in CFN '09.
Public speaking is never my friend! I don't even have the guts to look at the video recorded of the night. Hypnotizing myself. That DID NOT happen. never happen.

2. Jellyfish haircut @ Kimarie, Taipan. I'm NOT stepping into that shop anymore. I wanna burn all the pics taken at the period of time.

3. Argued with my mum over a wantan incident when I was 9, or maybe 10. That was the first time I saw her teared. It's a unforgettable scar in my heart. If time could flow back, I would never do/said the same.

4. FFK a breakfast date by overslept for 2 hours. Forgot to set alarm & accidentally put phone on silent.

5. A video for my mentor's ( form teacher) birthday. SOOO many embarrassing things I've done in that video! WHAT was I thinking?!!

6. (will give this later on)

This is a "tough day" . I took 2 days to figure out the list while lying on the couch, the bed, driving the kelisa.... There might me lots of NOT-SO-GOOD/embarrassing things that I've done. But I don't regret doing most of them. They're part of the life, the journey, helping me to become who I am right now, giving me more stories to tell.

It'll be so much easier if it's "what are the things I wish I've done" instead. Guess, I might do 1 when I'm FREE.=)

Day Four

2010-10-20T23:06:00.006+08:00

Day Four
Seven things that cross my mind a lot

1. What should I study? Or maybe what do I wanna study?

2. Can personal statement & ucas just wait?!

3. I've nothing to wear....

4. Study. Now. Drama can wait.

5. I'll backpack...one day...(thought of giving myself 1 year of break after A levels for backpacking)=)

6. Kang kang still owes my money.=.=

7. I've to stop thinking!

心情就像天气，总会有下雨天的，或许是今天~

2010-10-20T11:54:00.012+08:00

10月19日星期二阴
今天，并不顺利。没来得及做完化学实验，严格来说，是那份可恶地报告，手不停地颤抖着，心想，这次真的完蛋了。被要求停笔的那刹那，我愣了。眼泪已在眼眶打滚。当下的心情糟透了。当时，我的脸应该是臭到一个不行吧。如果情绪可以杀人的话，不知有多少人已被我身上那寒冷的气息与眼神杀死了！本想马上奔回家躲起来。但，被一位朋友叫住了。我竟然停下脚步，回头了。熟悉我的，应该知道我脾气没那么好。以前的我，应该是头也不回地走掉吧。
总觉得，自己的脾气收敛了许多。是好事吧。也或许，是因为大大小小的都经历了。对成绩这档事已不再是那么的执着了。或许是变豁达了。今天的失败，不代表明天的成就。小小的失败又算得了什么呢？或许，我不是唯一一个没做完的。或许，还不是最糟的。现在，我只能这么想了。

But guess what? I went for cheong k & movie after that. So now I've found myself bunches of new cheong k kakis other than my usually bunch which consists of Shing Queen, Shing Yin & Ee Suen.=D

My god! Those ppl surprised me. really. Snatch your mic, skip your songs....haha...

-->Ryne & Jasper : If I'm in a mood for Chinese / Canto / even Hokkien Songs...Or even some super oldies.=) They know a wide range of old songs, AWESOME!

--> Nan, the singer & Justin, rapper : If I'm up for ROCK & PUNK to kill my throat!Oh yea!!=D

我真的不知道该怎么面对你了

Day Three

2010-10-20T01:46:00.005+08:00

Day Three
Eight ways to win my heart

1. Big wide sunshine smile like KIM HYUN JOONG melts my heart.=)

2. Good sense of humor is important.=D

3. Simple actions like wrapping me up with a jacket when I'm shivering.=)

4. Gentlemen!

5. Notice when I'm not okay & know ways to cheer me up when I'm down.=)

6. Laugh, even I just cracked the world's shittest joke.

7. Compliments to boost my confidence.=)

8. Open up to me.

Extra : remember what I said, even the most insignificant line.

Day two

2010-10-18T01:15:00.000+08:00

Day two
Nine things about myself

1. DARK choc is the obsession, white choc is just too sweet, I think white choc, cupcakes & ME are the causes of diabetes.HAHAHA

2. My biological clock is messed up.

3. There are always some clothes which I don't know how they got their ways into my wardrobe.

4. When comes to coffee, ice-blended mocha is all-time favourite.

5. Reading long-plain-texts instructions make my head spins.

6. I'm trying to keep up the habit of exercising at least once a week.

7. I dislike Thinking Skills not because I couldn't think OK.

8. I usually sleep < 3 hours day before exams.

9. I still procrastinate A LOT.

randomlicious

2010-10-17T15:45:00.003+08:00

Had a random sleepover at kelly's last week.
What can you expect from bitches sleepover?
gossips, stalkings & of course some heart-to-heart talk.
We came across the topics of studying overseas, UCAS applications blah blah blah.
(something which I'm trying to run away from now.)

"Eh, you know what, actually I'm wondering what is going to happen to me when I study oversea alone....."
(not waiting for me to finish my sentence, she said,)
" Ya la, I'm quite worry for you too. You don't know how to take care of yourself wei...
*bang wall*
....You always have shoe problems, oversleep, running late for classes, leaving things behind, losing your IC etc etc.."
"errrmm.. so maybe I should stay somewhere closer to my uni, so I'll have time to run home to get the stuff that I leave behind.."
*speechless*

人生路途

2010-10-17T14:20:00.004+08:00

Here, a nice video that I would like to share.=)
There's an English version of this. You can find it in youtube by typing "walking tour (English)", I'm not posting that up as I find the words that are used in that aren't as touching as the Mandrin version.

Day one

2010-10-17T13:41:00.006+08:00

The 10 Day Challenge

Day One : Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now
Day Two : Nine things about yourself
Day Three : Eight ways to win your heart
Day Four : Seven things that cross your mind a lot
Day Five : Six things you wish you’d never done
Day Six : Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven : Four turn offs
Day Eight : Three turn ons
Day Nine : Two smileys that describe your life right now
Day Ten : One confession

The lifeless Kelly Yeo asked me to do this. I do this because it's a good way to keep bloggie alive. So, I tag Yong Carmen, Wei Jun, Ryne Cheow, Xia Shuen and whoever who read this to do it.=)

Day One

1. Kim Hyun Joong is the BOOM! Look at that killer smile! *melt*
2. Let's try that LEX indoor slide!=D
3. I'm not short.
4. I dream of the scenes in "Playful Kiss" yesterday night.wtf
5. My reaction is not slow, you dooong!
6. I miss lepak-ing with you.=D
7. Everything will be alright.=)
8. Take care la you taufu.
9. It's coming from you, so I don't care.
10. When I say I didn't study, it means I really didn't.

p/s : ya know I didn't post that previous post.=)

2010-10-13T23:28:00.001+08:00

I love kelly yeo yeo, so so much :D
She rock socks!

=)

2010-10-07T00:15:00.001+08:00

I feel so loved=) I'm still well in one piece, no worries about the previous post. Really. =)
RAWR!

A Me to be discovered.=D

2010-10-06T23:03:00.007+08:00

I feel like going a bit of narcissistic & crappy now.
This is going to be a "Random facts about ME" post.
Judging from the title, yes, this post is going to full of me, mE & ME...
I wanna see how much I can discover about myself.=)
So yea, new facts will be added from day to day, keep accumulating.
Have a rough idea about it now?
You may stop here if you think you couldn't handle my overflowing narcissism & craps later on.
Ya know, I can never stop crapping once I start.

Still here? Alright, then don't stop checking.=D

Here it goes,

1. Secretly, becoming a writer is 1 of the many dreams.
But I don't think I'm suitable for it, as I don't normally complete my karangan/essay/ 作文 if I've got no inspirations/ the feelings. And, I'm a super procrastinator, I can't work for due date. Also, I'm a perfectionist. I might edit my book a zillion times before it's published. (like my blog posts, I keep editing them even though they were published.)
Okaylah, those are actually excuses, the real reason is I tau tau my words aren't expressive & influential enough.=(

2. I'm very lazy in updating blog, so it's normally in dead fish mode. However, when I start updating, I like posting few posts in a short period of time.

3. I get cranky/ hyper when I have not enough sleep.

4. When I get hyper, you might wanna tie me up & tape my mouth.
I'll crap non-stop & start doing embarrassing/ unbelievable things. Singing off tune loudly, laughing in some weird sounds, annoy ppl around me..blah blah blah..(sometimes I feel like killing myself after recalled back the things I've done) Guess, the stupid Kelly Yeo knows best & experienced much.=D

5. I think my life can never escape from the word "embarrassing".
WHY?! How come I always happen to do soooo many embarrassing things unexpectedly?!*hide face* If were to list things out, I think it'll take me days to finish.

That's all for today. Dated : 6/10

6. I somehow caused Jitheang dare not to show others his hp anymore. His phone is flooded with my camwhore pics and so,his is afraid the others might think I'm his gf. BIGGEST joke..hahaha.

7. I have this telepathy thing with Kelly Yeo & my cousin.
-Always happen to buy the same clothes with my cousin coincidentally back to the time when v both were still kids. We had plenty of identical clothes back then. I guess she is the only person who I wouldn't mind of having the same clothes with.
-Kel & I always happen to stare at the same thing/ think about the same thing many times.
There was once I was staring at a floral kiddy sandal under the Summit bridge & imagining a lil girl might left it when she got kidnapped. Then, I turned & looked at Kel and she was staring at that sandal too. So, i told her my imaginary story. And she said, my story ain't that dramatic la, I just thought that girl might drop it while walking up the bridge.

Dated : 17/10

p/s : Think ya know random facts about me too? Don't be shy to let me know laaaa...I might wanna add them to my "collection" after judging their factuality.
SO, feel free to submit your piece of entry to xiaufongisawesome@HOTmail.com
" Random fact about xf is....................(50 words)"
Okaylah, I'm not THAT vain normally.xp
come back, my hair.=(

The departure day.

2010-10-05T23:10:00.006+08:00

Another belated post for a dear friend (opss, I mean a dear duck).

She, a midnight phone call kaki of mine.
She, a movie kaki of mine.
She, a scouting kawan of mine.
and this list go on & on.....
Had flown to UK...with her green wings..(ok. lame. I know)

Weeks before the departure, I was cracking my head for her farewell pressie.
I wanna give her something meaningful, something that can still be in one piece after years.
So, after squeezing some brain juice, I decided to handmade photo frames=D
Okaylah, to be more specific, hand-decorate photo frames. (since I got the ready-made wooden frames from Ikea.) =p
As not-artistic is my last name, the decorating process really took half of my life. (in mandrin: 半条命）
Though the frames aren't perfect. But I hope you can feel my sincerity in them. CLAPS?=D
I put the must-take-annual-cfn pictures of the three of us(the chicken,the duck & the bee), as I couldn't find any nice pictures of the 2 of us.=(
Was suppose to hangout with her for a short while on the night before she ciao.
But too bad. She was busying packing her stuff, so I chose not to disturb.
And ended up, just dropped by her house to pass her those lil gifts and gave her a brief hug.
To be honest, I already felt like crying when I got back into the car after that hug.=(

Initially, I couldn't feel much for the fact that she's leaving as we were all notified months before.
As in, of course I felt sad and all.Just that, couldn't fell the whole emotional part yet.
Till few days before, I suddenly got a struck before I went to bed.
She's leaving to the other part of the world. It's not Johor / Malacca / whatever shit.
IT'S UK!
Till then, only those emotional & old memories started to crawl up my mind.
Eh wait! I shall stop this la. I don't wanna make that animal emo in other part of the world now.=)

Okay, back to the track.
That dong dong duck didn't know few friends & I secretly planned to send her off at KLIA.
(thanks xiashin aka junior duck for pakat-ing with us)=D
Woke up at 5sth am that day. (never wake up that early right after I graduate *yawn*)
3 cars, 7 ponteng kia's headed to KLIA.
Oh, did I mention we actually reached before her? XD
And Sam, that no.1 big fat liar called Shuen up for a super short & insincere goodbye to disappoint her & to ensure she would have a bigger shock to see us there.
Things didn't turn out as dramatic as we wanted.
But guess she was really shocked la. Just that, she's always thaaaat calm.=.=
Some pictures of the day, pictures are not clear. I know. I don't have a dslr=(
Clearer & more pictures are with Sam & De Ming.

When jakuns got bunny-fied,=D

Groupie.=)

Yes, we sent her off with tears.

Friend, things might not be smooth there. Culture shock, need to be independent & all.
Be positive and hold on strong. Give everything some time, and they'll be fine.
Friends back home are always here to lend you supports. =) *hug*

when painkiller doesn't work

2010-10-05T21:13:00.006+08:00

YES! I'm not happy, I'm not happy with a lot of stuff lately.
Things are hard for me. Mentally wise.
It's hard to put everything in words.
I never good at that.
At times, I feel like spilling everything.
But somehow it's always at the wrong place, the wrong time, the wrong person...
At times, I've soooo much to say.
But after words were played once in the brain, I chose not to say...
Maybe sometimes things are meant to keep to yourself.=)

I chose not to say, it doesn't mean I'm okay with it.
I still smile, it doesn't mean I wasn't faking that smile.
(Don't ya know I've split personality? I can tear & type joke at the same time.)
When I say nothing, because I'm never good at expressing my feelings.
When I say I don't care, maybe I do care....a lot..

Everyone needs a pair of ears, but does everyone willing to lend you their pairs ears?
I mean, everyone needs listeners, but not everyone patient enough to be a listener.
At times, I wonder, who'll always be there when I turn around?
Who'll be there when I reach out?

At times, I feel really tired for being strong all the time.
I hate myself for being so negative with things now.
I hate it max when these emotional bullshit came by.
I hate it when I'm not longer the same old xf.
I don't know since when things have changed silently,
Not like I didn't realize the changes,
It's just...
I don't wanna admit the fact that things are changing.
I want the happy-go-lucky xf back.
Well, maybe I was exactly happy-go-lucky, but I took things easy.
I dislike myself being so fragile.
I dislike myself wasting times on all these.
Emo is just NOT my thing.
I hate it when desserts no longer make me smile
I hate it when jogging can't seem to bring sorrow away.

I thought twice if I should post this up. True friends should know I never use to /like being so transparent about my feelings.
But maybe I'm just tired of saying "I'm okay."
But maybe I'm just tired of acting tough.
But maybe I'm just so tired of being judged.
I don't need ya to comment. THANK YOU!

Nvm la, since not many ppl are reading this.
But if you do, pls do me a favor?
Don't ask me what's wrong.
At least I still feel I'm okay when I don't say it.

Explaining is the last thing I wanna do now.
Ppl always ask for explanations, but not everyone wanna hear the explanations.
and even if they do, they don't normally believe.
So yea, why bother explaining?

Wh, thanks for lending me your ears, appreciate it.really.=) at least you let me know who'll be there always; who'll be there to support when I fall.*hug*

when jokes went beyond limits.
when smile not as real.

Kalyana Mitra

2010-09-20T23:10:00.003+08:00

Here, a Buddhist hymn, which is also one of my all time favourite.
I cried whenever I listen to it when I don't feel well.

My Beautiful Friend, Music & Lyrics by Daniel Kwok

Performed by: i.Gemz

Verse 1:

You, my beautiful friend, you bring me joy
With your warm and generous ways
Kalyana Mitra you pull me back
When the road leads me astray
I'll never forget you were there with me
In times of sorrow
I'll promise to stay by you
Today and tomorrow

Chorus:

You, my trusted friend
I'll walk with you till the end
On the path of Freedom
Now and again
My happy beautiful friend
I'll hold your hand
In us we can depend

Verse 2:

Friend, you have all the qualities in you
To show me the meaning of the Truth
And there will be times we won't agree
There may be doubt, uncertainty
I'm sorry I've let you down and
Left you in the shadows
My friend will you turn around?
I'm here with my rainbows

Repeat Chorus (2x)

Kalyana Mitra, please take care of me
We somehow share the same destiny
Kalyana Mitra, I'll take care of you
Beautiful friend, I truly love you.

p/s : I actually felt kinda touched when I found out Mr. number6 still read my blog. haha.

Suen,
this is what I wanna tell you.=)

2010-09-19T04:49:00.000+08:00

Love,

I know we cannot feel the pain you are going through now.
But let us all be there for you no matter what.
I'm always here when you turn your back.
We're all here.

I know things are hard for you now.
But never keep everything to yourself.
If you need anyone to talk to, If you need anyone to wipe your tears away.
We're all here.

Be strong dear.
For her, for the family, for us.
I love you hard, dear.
We all do.

亲爱的，坚强知道吗。
就算全世界倒下，我们都会为你撑着的。

痛，
R.I.P
sadhu.sadhu.sadhu.

Blank.

2010-09-19T03:10:00.002+08:00

ask me if u wanna read.

Show encrypted text

Rising up high.=)

2010-09-13T15:26:00.044+08:00

This is a very very belated post that I wanted to write right after scouts' farewell party '10.
I'm such a great procrastinator for dragging it till now.

We joined the troop back in 2005.
We were once young, carefree and problem-free.
We were there plainly for fun, for the blank columns in our report cards & mainly we followed our friends.

As time went by, we grew, so did the passion, the friendships.
It was no longer just for ko-ku marks.
We learnt through different experiences.
We were given chances to learn to take up responsibilities, to experience further.
The bonds got stronger. We knew we were ONE. We saw the unity.
And, that was when the visions came in.=)
We knew when to be serious,
when to have fun to the max.=D
However, some chose to say goodbyes.=( And there goes tears and sorrows.
But we knew the hearts will always be together.

As we got older, we were given more and more opportunities to learn, to try, to experience.
We learnt the importance of teamwork.
The importance of working hand-in-hand.

Some new ones joined this big family in that year.=)We were all in this together.
And there, the visions too got clearer.

That was a tough year. Some chose to leave the big family. But deep down inside, we knew the love we have still tied us together.
More things came in.
We were told/expected to compete among each other, to shine independently.
We struggled, we afraid the bond might break. Things were so hard for us at that time.
We learnt to hope for the best, yet expect for the worst.

There came the time. The "judgment" day.
9 out of ard 20 were chosen. A mixture of joyous and disappointment in the day.

We never want the bond to be broken. We knew we can work it out, even we were in different positions. We are ONE no matter what.

A new year had came by. Things never get easier. More challenges were lying ahead, waiting for us.
We now organize, instead of participate.
Teach & lead but learn at the same time.

Teaching & learning through fun were what we like.=D

We learnt to see things in bigger pictures.
We got tired sometimes.

But we worked even harder.

Things did not run smoothly after all.
Misunderstandings occurred, disagreements happened.
We fought, we argued.

We hurt each other, but we said things we didn't mean to.
Tears and pains.

We chose to go through the hardships together.

We chose not to give up.
We to stand stronger together.
We then learnt to compromise, to understand, to give in.
We grew, we became stronger, so did the bond.

We worked hard to put things together.
And all the hard works got paid off.=)

Finally, it's the time to say goodbyes.
It's time for us to let our hands off.
For the younger ones to learn, to take over.

Others always ask us the same ques.
"Why are you guys sooo committed, so into scouts?"
Can't come out with a proper answer.
I can only say. It's the love, the passion that brought & hold us together.=)
Though not all of us were in the council, but we are all in this together.
We know we always have each other back.
We are there to heal each others' wounds.

Old memories keep flowing right now.
All the ridiculous and disgusting things we did.
I rmb we did a victory run around MPSJ field after we were announced as the champion in sports day.
I rmb how much we love the camera, how burnt we were after sports day.

I rmb we didn't mind lying down anywhere when we are tired in the camps, but feel extremely disgusted when we realized the places we lay after camps.

I rmb the time when we got punished,
And the time when we punished,
When the young ones did wrong.(Not this 1 la.)

Also, the time when we bullied/prank the young ones.( We were once kena bullied 99 too)

Looking back to the past and the juniors. I couldn't explain how much I miss and adore the family.

Now, another year has passed.
Another batch's taking over.
All I can say is best of luck people.=)
You can do it!
Keep the lameness & gayness run into the troop yo.=D

Eh wait! No gayness.No.

(But, guess it's too late.)

The passion & love never die. Once a scout always a scout.
The family tie will keep us together no matter where we are.
Fighting falcons. Rising up high.

104 scouts SMK Seafield!

I know more goodbyes are approaching. But I ain't ready for any.=(

my back, to be specific waist,
still hurting like nobody business.

call me a nerd

2010-08-29T13:53:00.003+08:00

exam mode : ON
nerd mode : ON
panda mode : ON
party mode : OFF
late night yum cha mode : OFF
shopping mode : OFF
karaoke mode : OFF
movie mode : OFF
sky trex mode : OFF T.T

Settings will only be changed after 1week.=/

There's lots of things I wanna post.will update after exams. I promise Lim Wei Jun & Yong Carmen. So,this is something for the both of u first. haha=D

等待那把钥匙

2010-08-19T19:25:00.000+08:00

Show encrypted text

Flashback

2010-08-02T23:06:00.006+08:00

A random question was asked by someone today.
Old memories start flowing.
pleasant ; unpleasant
There's stuff that I don't wanna recall.
Every scenes ran clearly through the eyes,
for once, I hope there's a reset button somewhere,
to change the decisions had been made; to make the decisions have not been made.

What's done is done, what's over is also over.

We can never change the mistakes we did,
but we can always try to remedy if we want.

Making mistake for the first time is the best way for us to grow,

however it's stupid, for the second time.
We learn, experience also make mistake along the way.
but please use right senses along the way,
You'll never hope to say/did stuff that u might regret.

Don't ask me why am I being so sentimental out of sudden,
Overflowing of progesterone & oestrogen maybe.
Period can be a beetch sometimes!
I always wonder, why is it so blooody unfair?
Why is it only us girls have to go through all the pains?
Period, giving birth, dadada...
So, guys out there, if your girls are having PMS,
please pamper them like a princess, treat them like a queen.
don't take offense if they said something more than they had intended,
Cause they definitely don't mean it.
Stay if they ask you to leave them alone.
You have no idea what kind of pain they are going through.=/

provoke me if u want me to b a beetch.

A piece of nonsense.

2010-07-27T23:28:00.006+08:00

Life is just so messed up lately.
It's a total upside down.
Trials is around the corner,
yet my daily routines are still down to
day dreaming in college>eat>nap>facebook>tv show>sleep>late for college
I'm so screwed laaa..
deep down inside,(eh wait,no need deep down la)
I know it's time to catch up my studies obviously, to complete the piles of homework, to stop wasting my time.
Yet, I still can't seem to push myself towards what I am supposed to do.

-piano practical G8 is in early of SEP , but I haven't prepare a single bits of it.
composers, instruments, terms......worse still I'm still sucks in composing music.

-my room is a mess, my life is also a mess..

"it's time to change" I told myself,

Yet, I can never do it. Was it lack of motivations?or was it just me?
I do know I don't have enough time right now. In fact, I am chasing hard after it now.
But I still can't resist it when late night lepak, random hangouts & shopping waving their hands at me.What more I'm so FREAKING addicted to monopoly deal lately.YES, I am putting the blame on you duckie!xp

ARRRGGGH..I need to get my life back into order.

I have a loooooong to-do-list to complete asap;

complete the self-praising personal statement
complete UK uni applications(as if I know which uni's I wanna go)
revise further maths, maths, chem, physics & thinking skills( wth,basically everything la)
practice piano!
do more theory past year
tidy up my room

Here comes another should-do-list:

sleep earlier on school nights
upload those super late n old pics in my comp
EXERCISE!( I can feel the fats accumulating in my tummy)
stick my ass at home
shop during mega sales.

Angel: EH, you just said you wanna start studying.
Devil: Buut...buuut..how could one miss mega sales?!
Angel: Is there a need to shop now, study is more important! It's for your FUTURE. (argh,the same kolot line)
Devil: You haven't been shopping for quite some time.....bla bla bla..#$%^&*#@$%^&

See!I told you I can't hold on to it. M lacking of willpower! I'm going to have split personality after this.
Help me pleaaaaassse anyone?T.T

Goooosssh, I sound like some spoilt lil kid complaining how bad her life is.wth. Haiyaaa,bear with me a lil la.I just need a channel for me to crap before I gone nuts ok. Also, to remind me what I have yet to complete!

p/s: dear suen, you r not the only one with messed up life now=) JOOM! Let's work it out together!=D

Don't forget to smile=)

I'm back=)

2010-07-22T00:26:00.002+08:00

Feel so terrible..
I didn't make it goes as how I promised before that.
I actually abandoned bloggie for err...nearly 2months time..=(
Sorry bloggie baby, mummy loves u.
Will try to keep u alive..=)

dont talk to me.

2010-05-25T21:47:00.001+08:00

We argues again
I m tired n bored of these
Leave me alone please

it's emo time again?

2010-05-13T22:10:00.002+08:00

wth!just found out my mum knows how to check taylor's parents' portal!Greeeeeaaaaatt...

it's raining again..

2010-05-12T22:01:00.000+08:00

Yes..I'm not ok =(

storing memories =)

2010-05-04T20:10:00.005+08:00

I used to read this on my friend's blog not too long ago-
"Universities' lecturers usually check on their students' facebook and blogs to know and understand more about their students"

I used to think mayb that is happening only to overseas' universities? Malaysia's lecturers usuallly wudn't waste their time on socializing with the kids. (well, i don't mean ALL lecturers) However, what mr.satya said today proved me wrong. He actually scanned through some of my classmates' blogs. Pretty scary isn't it? well, not like I am gonna criticize them here, just that I always want to keep my blog as low as possible and also private=) Why?Not much of reasons actually, I just don't feel comfortable to have everyone checking on it and knowing what I was doing / am up to at all time.It does freak me out a little sometimes. Though lecturers do this out of good intentions and I do find Taylor's lecturers are pretty friendly and willing to make the efforts to blend with us:D

I blog, because I just want to have
a place to let off my frustrations ,
a place to share my hyper-ness and excitements,
a place for sorrows and tears,
a place for laughter and memories.
I admit that I am kind of suffering from minor STML,
I can hardly recall certain things in the past. or even recently.
but don't get me wrong,
I am not having symptoms of Alzheimer.
I blog,because I need a place to store all my memories.
I blog, because diary requires a lot of writing.
I blog, because I prefer typing.=)

I am not a consistent blogger. I don't carry the responsible for my "dear readers" or whatever u might title them. I blog for myself and those who really care =) I don't have to blog about whatever I've done 24/7. What time i woke up or what time I brushed me teeth.

College was alright today. Was super duper hyper during the last few periods. When was the last time I screamed so loudly in the class? Or laugh breathlessly until I sit on the floor? Thanks to eevern and lewin for helping me to lose my image completely *cracked*=.=

Kids in the class were SOOO obsessed over my phone today.ops, I mean the STUPID games in my phone. That's what justin called them, yet he still played so hard to beat the high scores. Kids are kids.=D

p/s: teach me how to do the encrypted text,kelly yeo :S

today was smooth until...
i dislike thunderstorms.

hormones oh hormones.

2010-05-03T22:13:00.003+08:00

Today wasn't a very smooth day for me.I mean mentally wise no.I was so driven away in the class the whole day.I can't concentrate at all,not forgetting I've missed a few classes, so I was SUPER lost at the same time. Guess it was because of the stupid period. Or maybe it was something else? Changes in hormones also caused me to feel hungry easily today.So I was basically starving throughout the classes.

p/s: Was having crazy craving for desserts too.
conclusion of the day : having period is like pregnancy. The change in hormones will result in food craving.

p/s/s: Goosh,how I wish Angie is here. She'll definitely understand how torturing it is.

Hari anugerah cemerlang =)

2010-05-01T17:44:00.005+08:00

Went back seafield for award ceremony yesterday, saw all the same old faces.felt so warm and belonged=) Guess I was too hyped up until I actually did few embarrassing things again.=.= I shouted "YIH TANG WE LOVE YOU!" SUPER loudly went yih tang, the super genius went up the stage for his uncountable number of awards.Eventually all the ex-form 5 turned their heads and searched for the weirdo who actually did that. But when they realized it was me, you can see the "aiyaaa,normal la.." expressions on them. GOOSH *image image*i told myself. But yea, this is the place where I can do anything jakun and show the very true xf. Took group pictures with the ex-5A people in front of our mural. Everyone still loves posing as usual.=D The day was so smooth until I had to rush back to kel's back immediately after the photo session. I 99% confirmed it was the syrup's fault. Conclusion was: never trust seafield's canteen. I love the school,but NEVER the canteen.

Went for a movie session with some of them after that. The queue was as ridiculous as we expected. Ip Man was awesome! As well as people in the cinema, they were sooo into the movie. They clapped and cheered so loudly when Ip Man won the fight.

Sent kel back after that, the jam was as horrible as usual. "subang doesn't need a reason to jam"quoted kel (or maybe the mum) Reached home at around 8pm, by then only i realized how exhausted I was.

Missed a day of college. There will be a lot of topics to catch up. Looking at the tonnes of homework on the table, how I wish I am still in high school. No more procrastinating work I say.

p/s : Just found out not many schools have award ceremony for their students who did well academically,especially spm. Seafieldians are lucky =)

A brand new thing

2010-04-24T18:23:00.002+08:00

It has already been quite a while ever since the very last time I've updated this dead blog..

High school life and aimless holidays life had come to an end.

no more uniforms,
no more copying homework,
no more late night dramas and lepaks..

I miss those time when we are all running around the school for scouts stuff,
I miss those time when I can talk and shout loudly in 5A without getting any "OMG" reactions,
I miss those time when we had secretive chats in the changing room
and cam-whoring sessions where we filled up the memories of all 3 cameras in a day..

Those are the moments that I truly cherish,
those are the people that I truly love,
that is the place that full of my memories.

Everything is kept in the deepest side of heart, giving me motivation to explore another brand new life, various new experiences and new people.:)

High school years might have ended, but I have friendships will never end.

I am hoping everything in the new life will run smoothly, I am hoping the friendships btw those old yet irreplaceable friends will never fade. I am hoping after 10 or even 20years later, we can still sit back and have a good laugh over those nonsenses that we did.

I am missing the old life, yet looking forward to the new life fearfully..
New environment, new class, new classmates, new friends , I am all ready for you =)

p/s : I will try my best to keep this blog alive :)

hoping for the best.*crossing fingers*